KEEPING HEALTHY MENTAL HEALTH HEALTHY volume two

ENJOYING AND ENRICHING PERSONAL MENTAL HEALTH
TO CONTRIBUTE TO LIVING THE ABUNDANT LIFE

volume two of KEEPING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH HEALTHY

Stephen D. ZoBell, PhD

In volume one of KEEPING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH HEALTHY I wrote:

This part of my blog is for those who are functioning well regarding mental health or who may have mild problems.  Instead of ignoring mental health issues, why not prevent potential challenges? or do what you can to make yourself more fully functional?  If you have mental and emotional strength, why not reach out and help others?   Here are some ideas that may help.

Volume one includes points 1-5

This volume, Volume two, includes points 6-9

Volume three includes points 10-13


Following is a continuation of KEEPING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH HEALTHY

6.  EMPOWERING THE INDIVIDUAL

7.  PUSHING BACK ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL

8.  BALANCED WELL BEING

9.  REPLACEMENT STRATEGIES

6.  EMPOWERING THE INDIVIDUAL

The old saying: give a man a fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime can be applied to managing mental and emotional issues.

If you are dealing with personal emotional or mental challenges it is not helpful to try to get someone to tell you what to do or to do your thinking and planning for you.  Avoid asking other people to give you a fish.  Your solutions will be stronger if you formulate them yourself.  Others can be supportive and can offer consultation, provide ideas that can generate brainstorming and help you to look at numerous alternative approaches.  Ask them to teach you how to fish.

 If you are helping someone to resolve mental/emotional difficulties, then it is best to avoid telling them what to do.  The strongest approach is in coaching a person to empower personal resources, guide them to find accurate information, then encouraging them to find and apply their own solutions. Teach them a process rather then give them an answer.  You can also provide feedback regarding their approach.  But to tell a person what to do to resolve mental/emotional problems is like giving them a fish.  They may find stability for a day.  But if you teach them a process of how to find solutions and guide them through their own problem solving approaches, they will have the ability to deal with mental/emotional challenges for the rest of their life.  Then you have taught them how to fish.  Don’t give them the solution.  Give them a process that will help them to find solutions on their own.  Help them to find their own internal sources of power and how to find, sort and apply information about their mental and emotional issues.

If you are struggling with mental/emotional challenges, you will need to find power from some source.  The deepest level of power is through the Savior's Atonement.  But you will also need to make effort on your own.  Power for you can come from a number of sources.  It is important, as you move towards solutions, to maintain your self-reliance as much as possible.  See if the following process might help you to find the strength and power to manage mental/emotional issues.  Or, if you are a helper, use the following as a guide to ensure that the person you are assisting as s/he struggles through mental/emotional challenges will maintain as much dignity, self-respect and self-reliance as possible.

1.  There is POWER in examining PERSONAL STRENGTHS and PERSONAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS.  Make a list of PERSONAL ASSETS.  List your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual strengths.  There is a list of personal spiritual assets found in another post on this blog. There is POWER in your personal growth, personal progress and personal experience.  Take this power and give yourself permission to apply it to yourself.  It is already yours.  Do not discount it or be ashamed of it.  Your unique personal resources will provide answers on how to deal with mental and emotional issues.  After determining your internal resources you can then consider gathering information from external sources.

2.  There is POWER in INFORMATION.  In this day and age the problem with information is that there is too much of it.  Too much information can bog you down, get you confused, create overload. So refine your search to specific terms.  Make a written note of the information you are looking for.   Then, begin a quest to gather information about your mental/emotional challenges, both in terms of what they might be and what solutions may be applicable.  Be as specific as you can in order to stay focused.  Give yourself a time limit to gather information so you don't go off on tangents.  Keep your search within the bounds of the standards and values provided by the Church.  You may find the information that you need in a book, a pamphlet, from a consultant, a credible website, at a seminar, a church talk, from a friend or any number of places.  In order to avoid information overload, I favor one or two page handouts.  They are succinct and to the point. However you do it, find INFORMATION regarding the mental/emotional challenges that you want to solve.

3.  There is POWER in a WRITTEN TREATMENT PLAN.  The information that you gather is not your treatment plan.  Information that you gain from your search should not be immediately acted upon.  It is more helpful to consider the ideas, ponder them and think about how they may apply to your unique mental/emotional challenges and how they fit the standards and values of the Church. Then you can develop your own personalized treatment plan considering both your personal resources and the information you gained from external sources. As you develop your plan ask:  What will I do differently?  How will I think, believe, feel and act in different ways so I am no longer held back by my mental/emotional challenges?  How can I better manage my mental and emotional health?  Write down the specifics in the form of a treatment plan with brief, specific changes that you will make within the next week or so. The treatment plan will not be helpful unless the ideas written down are specific, doable and reportable.  There is information regarding treatment plans on another post of this blog.

4.  There is POWER in REPORTING.  Making an accounting for mental/emotional progress will  bring POWER to you.  It is helpful to make a report on a treatment plan about once each week.  Sometimes there is no one else to report to except yourself. If that is the case, make an honest report.  Some people are comfortable with reporting a specific mental/emotional health treatment plan to God in prayer.  Other considerations could be to report progress to a church leader, a family member, a trusted friend or a professional counselor.  But find some way of reporting.  Reporting will give you power.  It is helpful to report progress and success.  But reporting set backs and relapses may help with feedback on the treatment plan itself or indicate more effort is needed.

Sometimes it is understandable when a person needs to have someone give them a fish.  But that should be short term.  Teaching a person to fish will enable them to become more and more self reliant.  Empower the individual by teaching them the processes of managing personal mental and emotional processes.

7.  PUSHING BACK ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL

The potential for a downward spiral in mental/emotional functioning is usually triggered when an

individual notices inconsistencies or unfairness in his or her life and has a negative reaction to them. 

Initially, the person wanted, expected and dreamed of, a high level positive result. 

However, life and all of its factors delivers something on a lower level.

When the high expectations are not delivered, the person is hurt, disappointed or embarrassed.

When more and more disappointments and unfairness arise, negative responses can occur. 

The question becomes:  what do we do when we don't get our own way, when we are hurt, disappointed or embarrassed?

It is helpful to learn to ‘push back’ on our own tendency to have negative reactions when we don't get our own way, when life doesn't deliver what we expect.  Push back on this negative inclination at the earliest possible stage.  Below is a chart outlining:  

1.  how a cascade of disaster can occur by using faulty approaches

2.  what we really need/want and

3.  how we can push back.

HOW TO PUSH BACK ON A MENTAL/EMOTIONAL DOWNWARD SPIRAL

1.        Awareness of the early onset of a downward spiral is important

2.       Once the early onset is detected, interruptions can be implemented to push back 

3.       Replacement concepts are helpful, ie, replacing negative thoughts/feelings/behaviors with their positive counterparts

HOW A CASCADE OF DISASTER CAN OCCUR?	WHAT DO I REALLY NEED   AND WANT?	HOW CAN I PUSH BACK?
INCONSISTENCY I NOTICE AN INCONSISTENCY IN MY LIFE.  SOMETHING IN MY WORLD DOES NOT FIT MY EXPECTATIONS.  I’M ON THE CUSP OF GOING POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE IN MY REACTION      this can lead to    ↓      ↓      ↓       ↓       ↓	UNDERSTANDING I NEED TO LEARN THAT LIFE IS NOT ABOUT BEING FREE OF INCONSISTENCIES, IT IS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING THE UNFAIRNESS THAT COMES MY WAY AND LEARNING TO USE HIGH LEVEL SKILLS TO DEAL WITH UNMET EXPECTATIONS	RE FRAMING I CAN LOOK AT THE INCONSISTENCY AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN A DIFFERENT WAY, RE-FRAME IT AND RECLASSIFY IT TO HAVE POSITIVE MEANING, LOOK AT IT AS A CHALLENGE TO BE OVERCOME, AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN AND GROW
NEGATIVE RUMINATING I TRY TO MAKE SENSE OF WHAT HAPPENED, WHY DID I NOT GET MY OWN WAY?  I COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHERS AND WONDER WHY THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT OUT OF LIFE BUT I DO NOT? this can lead to  ↓     ↓     ↓      ↓     ↓	EFFICIENT THOUGHT PROCESSES TOO MUCH ANALYZING AND RUMINATING CAN BE A WASTE OF TIME.   SO I NEED TO LEARN TO BE MORE POSITIVE AND CREATIVE IN SOLVING MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES, I NEED TO BE IN CHARGE RATHER THAN LET CIRCUMSTANCES DICTATE HOW I THINK, FEEL AND ACT	POSITIVE SELF TALK I CAN LEARN TO USE POSITIVE SELF TALK TO ADDRESS ALL UNFAIRNESS AND INCONSISTENCIES IN MY LIFE.  I CAN GIVE MYSELF A POSITIVE VOICE
NEGATIVE INTERPRETATIONS I INTERPRET THESE INCONSISTENCIES IN SUCH   A WAY THAT I FEEL ALONE, HURT, DISAPPOINTED, SHAMED, EMBARRASSED, EMPTY this can lead to  ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓	HELPFUL AND POSITIVE INTERPRETATIONS I NEED TO LEARN THE SKILL OF INTERPRETING INCONSISTENCIES IN A MORE POSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE WAY	KNOWLEDGE I CAN GAIN ACCURATE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE ETERNAL PLAN OF THE SAVIOR AND HOW I FIT IN SO THAT MY INTERPRETATIONS WILL INCLUDE PURPOSE, MEANING AND ACTING IN A LARGER CONTEXT
HARMFUL BELIEFS I START BELIEVING THAT LIFE IS UNFAIRLY PICKING ON ME, I START BLAMING OTHERS AND CIRCUMSTANCES.  I START INDULGING IN SELF PITY.  I FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF this can lead to  ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓	TRUTH I NEED TO COME FACE TO FACE WITH THE TRUTHS ABOUT MYSELF, MY PURPOSE AND WHAT I AM DOING ON THIS EARTH.  I NEED TO REALIZE THAT SELF PITY AND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF ARE POOR STRATEGIES	ACCURATE BELIEFS I CAN QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF AND COME TO ACCEPT AND EXPERIENCE ACCURATE BELIEFS AND USE THEM TO REPLACE HARMFUL BELIEFS
ENTITLEMENT MINDSET I CONCLUDE THAT I AM ENTITLED TO FEEL GOOD IN SOME WAY.  I DESERVE COMPENSATION, APPEASEMENT AND SOOTHING this can lead to   ↓     ↓    ↓     ↓    ↓	TAKE RESPONSIBILITY I NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WHEN I DO THE RIGHT THING IT MAY NOT FEEL GOOD IMMEDIATELY, I MAY NOT GET COMPENSATED OR SOOTHED IMMEDIATELY	RESIST ENTITLEMENT I CAN RESIST ENTITLEMENT AND MOVE FORWARD DOING THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME FOR THE RIGHT REASON AND TAKE WHATEVER CONSEQUENCES ARISE
INDULGENT APPROACH BECAUSE I AM ENTITLED, I GIVE PERMISSION TO TREAT MYSELF TO A SUBSTANCE OR AN ACTIVITY THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL GOOD FOR THE MOMENT.  I BELIEVE THAT I DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD EVEN THOUGH I MAY BE INVOLVED IN USING HARMFUL SUBSTANCES OR ENGAGING IN HARMFUL ACTIVITIES this can lead to   ↓      ↓    ↓    ↓     ↓	BOUNDARIES I NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT ALL THINGS HAVE THEIR LIMITS AND I NEED TO BE AWARE OF BOUNDARIES IN MY LIFE	GOAL ORIENTED LIMITS I CAN LEARN ABOUT BOUNDARIES, HOW THEY WORK, WHAT LIMITS SHOULD BE IN MY LIFE AND I CAN START APPLYING THEM THROUGH GOAL SETTING, SELF CONTROL AND SELF DISCIPLINE
HABITUAL INVOLVEMENT I DEVELOP THE HABIT OF DEALING WITH INCONSISTENCIES IN MY LIFE ACCORDING TO THIS PATTERN:  NEGATIVE RUMINATIONS WHICH LEADS TO NEGATIVE INTERPRETATIONS, WHICH GENERATE HARMFUL BELIEFS, WHICH MAKE ME FEEL ENTITLED TO WRONGDOING WHICH EVENTUALLY LEADS TO INDULGENCE AND ONGOING HARMFUL HABITS.  OVER AND OVER AND OVER I USE THIS PATTERN IN MY LIFE AND EVENTUALLY I AM CAUGHT UP IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL this can lead to ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓     ↓	HIGHER LEVEL OF PURPOSE I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST THE REPETITIVE ROUTINE AND RITUALS THAT SEEM TO RUN ME.  I NEED TO FIND HIGHER PURPOSE IN MY LIFE.  I NEED TO GET OUT OF A RUT	DREAMS, HOPES, GOALS I CAN DREAM OF HAPPIER TIMES IN MY LIFE, I CAN HOPE FOR HAPPIER TIMES IN MY LIFE AND I CAN SET SPECIFIC GOALS TO MOVE TOWARDS HAPPIER TIMES IN MY LIFE.  I CAN BELIEVE THAT THERE IS HOPE
ADDICTION ONCE THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL PROCESSES ARE INGRAINED INTO MY HABITS, I CAN EASILY BECOME ADDICTED TO A BEHAVIOR, A PERSON, OR TO A SUBSTANCE.  THEN THE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR   OR SUBSTANCE TAKES OVER AND I START LOSING CONTROL OF HOW I INTERPRET, BELIEVE, FEEL AND CHOOSE.  I START TO LOSE POWER OVER MY OWN LIFE	MY LIFE BACK I NEED MY LIFE BACK, I NEED MY SELF CONTROL, I NEED PURPOSE AND DIRECTION, I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME	SUBMISSIVE ATTITUDE I CAN SUBMIT TO GOD, I CAN SUBMIT TO AUTHORITY, I CAN SUBMIT TO THOSE WHO CAN GUIDE ME OUT OF THE TRAP I AM IN

8.  BALANCING WELL BEING

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL FUNCTIONING ARE JUST PART OF A GREATER WHOLE.

 OTHER FACTORS IN OUR AREA OF RESPONSIBILITY CAN IMPACT OUR MENTAL

AND EMOTIONAL WELL BEING IF WE DO NOT TEND TO THEM AND KEEP THEM

RELATIVELY FREE FROM ENCUMBRANCES.  FOR EXAMPLE, IF OUR RELATIONSHIPS

 WITH OTHERS ARE STRAINED, THEN THAT STRAIN COULD HAVE A NEGATIVE

IMPACT ON OUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH.  AND CONVERSELY, IF OUR

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL STATUS IS NOT WELL, THAT COULD HAVE A HARMFUL

INFLUENCE ON OUR RELATIONSHIPS.  ANOTHER EXAMPLE:  OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

WILL IMPACT OUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL HEALTH, AND VICE VERSA.


Below is a chart that can help you to focus on balancing issues in the area of your personal

responsibility to self.  Filling it out to the best of your ability and making effort on your goals, will

help you to maintain a balanced well being and to move forward in your life in more positive ways.

HOLISTIC GOAL SETTING
CATEGORY	OBJECTIVES and STANDARDS	LONG RANGE GOALS	SHORT RANGE GOALS	THINGS TO DO
SPIRITUAL
MENTAL
EMOTIONAL
PHYSICAL
RESPONSIBILITY  TO OTHERS
ENVIRONMENT

Stephen D. ZoBell, PhD

9.  REPLACEMENT STRATEGIES

I read a QUIT SMOKING PAMPHLET forty years ago and gained the

 following insights that can be applied to mental and emotional 

challenges:

YOU DON’T QUIT SMOKING BY QUITTING SMOKING 

YOU QUIT SMOKING BY REPLACING THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND

BEHAVIORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO SMOKING, WITH THOUGHTS, 

FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO MORE 

PRODUCTIVE INVOLVEMENTS

The question asked in the pamphlet was:  WHAT WOULD YOU BE THINKING ABOUT AND WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING IF YOU WEREN'T SMOKING?

This concept might be helpful if applied to mental and emotional issues.  Can negative and harmful thoughts, feelings and behaviors be replaced by more positive and productive thoughts feelings and behaviors? 

For example, could we reconstruct the statement in such a way that we read something like this?

YOU DON’T QUIT SMOKING  (substitute the unwanted or undesirable thoughts, feelings Or behaviors) BY QUITTING SMOKING  (the undesirable thoughts, feelings or behaviors)

YOU QUIT SMOKING  (those undesirable involvements) BY REPLACING THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS THAT CONTRIBUTE  TO SMOKING (those undesirable involvements) WITH THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND BEHAVIORS THAT CONTRIBUTE  TO MORE PRODUCTIVE INVOLVEMENTS

What would you be doing if you weren’t smoking  (engaging in unproductive thoughts feelings and behaviors)?

Below you will find a chart that may give ideas on replacing harmful habits with more productive

habits:

REPLACING HARMFUL HABITS OF THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, BEHAVIORS

WITH

HELPFUL HABITS OF THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, BEHAVIORS

HARMFUL HABIT	REPLACED BY	HELPFUL HABIT
Lack of direction		Written goals and plans
Analyze too much		Synthesize and create
Alone and lonely		Connected and aware of resources
Confused and mixed up		Clear thinking, sense of purpose
Negative attitude		Hopeful attitude
Lost		Feel a sense of identity
Negative self-talk		Positive self-talk
Stuck		Sense of progressing
Betrays covenants		Working to be loyal to covenants
Anger		Compassion
Homesick		Working to enjoy family relations
Blame		Sense of responsibility
Unfair		Sense of justice and fairness
Unhealthy relationships		Uplifting relationships
Overly competitive		Cooperative
Unbending and rigid		Willing to make positive changes
Self pity		Good cheer towards self
Selfish		Helpful towards others
Mean		Kind
Waste time		Productive
Too much fantasy		Ability to see and deal with reality
Highly anxious		Calm
Poor eating habits		Constructive eating habits
Poor hygiene		Appropriate hygiene
Rebellious to authority		Submissive to authority
Arrogant		Meek and humble
Lazy		Self starter
Critical comments		Uplifting in dialogue
Fabricate information, make up stories		Honest
Doesn’t keep commitments		High levels of integrity
Low stress tolerance		Ability to tolerate inconsistencies
Tries to manipulate others		Respects agency and choice of others
Complain		Offer gratitude
Entitlement mindset		Takes responsibility for self
Stuck in the past		Enjoying the moment and moving forward into the future

                                                                                         

ETC

PERSONAL LIST

My list of harmful habits	Can change to……	My list of helpful habits